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Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Questions Not to Ask Adopted People

Something I have decided to do more in 2015 is talk about adoption. I'm adopted from China, and I'm proud of that. It's something that makes me unique, and a major part of Chinese history. It's hard to find a wife in China right now because there are so many "missing" women-- women that were aborted, killed or abandoned in infancy? I'm part of that history... and that's kind of neat. 

Yes, I was adorable. Thank you. 

Growing up, I got asked a lot of questions about being adopted. I understand some of these questions stem from curiosity. However, they're pretty rude to ask when you don't know me very well. Also, the fact that I still get asked this stuff in college is concerning. I don't ask what time you were born or anything personal like that, so please don't ask me (or any adopted person) these questions. I've got my default answers next to some of the most common questions I've been asked. 

1. "How much did you cost?" (Children are not handbags. I was not purchased at a baby mall.)

2. "Did you know you were adopted?" (I'm Chinese. My parents are white. I'm not blind.)

3. "Did you speak Chinese?" (I was eight months old. Did you speak English at 8 months old? )

4. "What about your REAL mom?" (She lives in NJ, wears turtle glasses, is blonde, and is awesome.)

5. "So, you're going to adopt, right?" (Being adopted does not influence if I want biological children.)

6. "Are you actually Chinese?" (Yes. Yes I am.)

7. "Are you going to find your birth mother?" (What makes you think she can be found?)

So, there are some questions I've been asked since I was a very little girl. Hopefully this post clears up some confusion about what NOT to ask adopted people. Speaking of being a little girl, here's a picture of me at Disney World when I was five. Maybe all adoption-related posts will have a cute picture of me as a little girl at the end. 

Yes, I was adorable. Thank you. 


  1. You were really adorable. And wow. Did people really ask you that??

    The Life of Little Me

    1. Hi M,

      Oh, I wish I was joking with these questions. My parents and I were asked these regularly when I was growing up, and I still answer them in college. Thanks for reading!


  2. Great Blog, and excellent perspective!


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